Submitted story: Too many hogs in New Hampshire

Living in NH is a visual and outdoor bonanza. The great outdoors call to many people in many ways, and not only state residents.

We welcome a lot of visitors, two especially famous groups. The first group that comes to mind generally speaking annoys the entire state on a local level, but interplays with the economy of this tiny sliver of land to such an important level that we welcome our 'Leaf Peepers' with open arms. And just drive slowly and patiently through October 10th or so through the next couple of weeks. The folliage turns from North to South, and in reverse duplicates the path of our other visitors: The bikers.

Bikers Week. Laconia. Harleys. Tatoos. Weirdos. NH is one of the most conservative states in the union. So whoever thought up this place for Motorcycle Week? It is wonderful watching the local news. The videographers seem to be having the most fun, tight shots of the clothing, piercings, tatoos, and best of all, traffic jams. Oh, I didn't mean traffic jams. I meant monster traffic jams, caused by all the local merchants putting up no parking signs in front of their shops.

Now why the bikers keep coming back for so much more rude treatment I don't know, but I suspect it is something like a tradition. The bikers against the locals. The locals make plenty of money off of the bikers. And just how many of those bikers are what we called bikers when we were kids in the 50's? Man, we'd run in the house if one of those scary looking guys was across the street. And there was no doubt-these those folks didn't have another identity as an accountant during the rest of the week. Call me weird but isn't that odd? Those bikers back then seemed to hold their hogs together with bailing wire and spit, but they could do it all themselves.

Sometimes I wonder, when I see the new 'bikers', if they don't stop somewhere and throw dust over themselves and their $25,000 hogs. Those aren't hogs, those are BMWs with two wheels missing. Airconditioned, music, what other options I can't even think of.

Now as I am a grown up feminist I would say the way that Bikers' Chicks were said to be treated in the 'old days' was not healthy. I have seen some photos of new bikers partying that look pretty much like New Orleans used to look for Mardi Gras, only complete with hogs all over the place. Listening to the rumbling is the first sign I have that the crowds are coming. The sounds of both tuned and needing tuning engines are coming through town for a rest, food, whatever, first just a half dozen or so, then more, then suddenly they are all over the place, and talking.

I listen and whoa; they sound just like everyone else planning a road trip. And they look very well groomed under their $1,000 Harley-Davidson duds. The conformity of looks in automobiles is spilling over into motorcycles, with any number trying for the retro Harley-Davidson look. I know a doctor who bought two special edition Harley-Davidsons for some reason or another - I forget. But a legendary bike has turned into another object of conspicuous consumerism, and noise pollution.

Does this mean I don't love riding? I love riding, but have stopped because I feel that in all good ethics, the planet cannot afford any more sullying with carbon based petrochemicals. Since the general riders of today are educated, savvy people, involved in politics even, I would propose to work together to save this country we love to cruise, and worry a bit less about the cruisers and the cruisees.

Not ten miles from Laconia there are huge lakes, dead from acid rain. A dead lake is so butt ugly it makes me want to cry. Just black tree stumps sticking out from along the edges, and then black water. Nice camping goal, hey? Just boil the water forever, because you can't ever drink it.